Gay asian dating lonely

If you're a gay Asian male, there's a good chance you've wondered about to ask fellow gay Asian-Australians about their dating experiences in order . and fellow Asians were not alone in when it came to their experiences.
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When Peter returned, he felt more proud of his cultural identity and started to see that discrimination was the problem, not him. As we talk further, he speaks about a hypothetical power imbalance. He wants people to be attracted to him independent of his race. Interestingly though, he has started to become attracted to other Asian guys after he gained respect and acceptance in his cultural heritage. I could tell he was confident and also a bit older before I approached him.

He has also told them why he thinks this rejection pattern occurs: It takes a while to understand but it starts to dawn on me that this topic is a lot more complicated than I anticipated. Jae appears easy-going about this topic and brushes it off as being open-minded.

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He says his attraction to Asians is similar to asking why people were attracted to men in general. I never thought to question this but I think that in itself speaks more about the problem. IN writing this under the guise of justifying my lack of a love life, I learnt that sexual racism is a reality and fellow Asians were not alone in when it came to their experiences. There also seemed to be many assumptions made about people regardless of who they were, and this proved to be counter-productive.

In the end, I feel like people should know that there are more diamonds in the world than what we assume. We just need to be open to finding them. You can also read our latest magazines or Join us on our Facebook page and Twitter feed. Home News. Rebeckah Loveday Katherine Wolfgramme , April 12, Community Spotlight In Depth. Edison Chen — May 26, Joe, Peter, I apologize if this sounds racist, I don't mean it to be it's just my experience but I have never met an Asian guy who is taller than me 5'9" and a top.

If I met a guy like that who was nice to me and great in bed I would have no problem being in a relationship with him because I love most qualities of Asian guys, especially their intelligence. Not that that particular image stands up to scrutiny. At least, the Asian women I know are fairly badass. I love Asians and they love fucking me but I swear to god the partnered, even married to a woman, ones go after me. I can never find an Asian guy who wants me for a boyfriend just a fuck buddy.

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All my boyfriends except two have been white boys. I had two Asian boyfriends in college. One was from Korea, really cute, and short, we broke up within the same year. My other bf was a middleEasterner, he got married off to someone. I'd say they were both good, but I usually got weird looks from my friends when I brought my bf to the parties and introduced them. I dated a half Japanese guy and have had affairs with scores of Filipinos.

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The Filipinos were all dominant in bed and usually had wives or girlfriends. Oh dear, what do you expect. Are they, and you, so insecure with your sexuality that you have to replicate such simplistic heterosexual norms. Asians love whites. It's the same with Asian women.

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I remember in college the Asian women would flock the white guys. A straight Asian friend at the time told me he resented and hated Asian women for it. Is it low self-esteem? Asians work as computer programmers, but not Project Managers. That is because they lack the social and political skills to move up. Thereby they lack the self-esteem. So the Caucasian community is more developed socially and self-esteem wise. I'm a middle aged bearish white guy I just don't find them attractive.

I'm just not sure why so many young guys are interested. It's flattering, but seems odd. In many Asian circle, you could be on an oxygen tank and if you are white, that is good enough for them. It is a self-esteem issue, as if being with a White guy makes Asians feel confident.

This thread doesn't match my experience regarding Asian men. Granted I spent a large chunk of my adult life living in Asian so maybe my experiences are different. I have met all sorts. Tops, bottoms, aggressive, timid Any attempts to sum up my experience in a few lines would be complicated. Fuck buddy is a younger Thai stud who is an entrepreneur owner of several businesses.

Again, not subservient at all.

On Grindr or any other app: I live in the Pacific Northwest and needy Asian bottoms make Grindr unbearable! I would pay money for an app like Grindr that would hide my profile from Asian men. I don't think OP is Asian. Who the hell would run down his race like that? I think OP is some racist troll. I'm relatively new to your community but is the outright vile racism on this board indicative of the larger community as well? No, R There are just numerous racists on Datalounge who don't even think they are racist. Plus they think it's okay to make fun of Asians.

They don't say the same things to African Americans but somehow Asians are the last acceptable minority to make fun of. But in terms of finding an Asian top, some Asians clue in quickly that most Rice Queens are bottoms. So they adjust. Again most Rice Queens are bottoms, so as an Asian who wants a white guy either you are a top or you are out of luck. OP, try dating another Asian. This is only an issue if you prefer non-Asian in this case, white over your own. It is a buyers market, you will have plenty of Asian guys to choose from and you will never be lonely again.

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R73, as an Asian guy I'd say my experience has been the opposite. When I was on a dating site a couple of months ago, I received the most messages and "winks" from other Asian guys followed closely by Hispanic and black guys, and then white guys. I know there are other Asian guys who only pursue white guys "potato queens" , but there are plenty of others who are attracted to all types, including other Asians - just go to any of the Asian-focused gay clubs to see plenty of them hooking up with one another. I'd like to think OP is an isolated troll, but unfortunately I've run across a couple of guys, both Asian and white, who emulate his type of thinking.

But I actually have no idea what he's talking about with the "subservient" stereotype that's more of an outdated stereotype for Asian women. Maybe he means "emotional doormat"?


There are plenty of those among all races. Nor do I understand why "subservience" is supposed to be an attractive quality - most gay men I know are looking for a partner who's confident and will stand up for himself. I will say, if you're desperate to be in a relationship, and you go out and seek a guy of a certain race because you buy into a stereotype that he'll be "subservient" or "loyal" - news flash, you're not ready to be in a relationship.

You're ready to play doll-house with some fantasy from your simplistic imagination. Grow up a little. The good news is that this focus on race will die out. Millennials are not focused on race when dating. They are more color blind and see the person individually. R95, sweetie, my mother is half-Japanese. I have met enough Oriental people plus the many second and third generation immigrants in my family to know that they hate themselves and truly believe the disgusting racist tripe that's said about Far Eastern people in "developed" countries.

I find the post offensive, horrible and demeaning and yes, I think that it was mostly motivated by a very negative self-image. R96 you are mixed race, and probably look Caucasian. So you don't encounter some of the Racism that Gay Asians go through. Yes, the new generation is focused on other things like how low your body fat is and what social circle you hang out with.

An Asian who refers to other Asians as Oriental is like a black person who refers to other blacks as colored.

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R96 is probably from the UK, where 'oriental' is still used for East Asians. Incidentally, with the exception of my mum, they are first ones to perpetuate racist notions, view anyone who isn't Caucasian with seething hatred and are desperate to marry or "be" white. They are particularly horrible to black people.

I do understand that Far Eastern people have to face endless prejudices every single day just go to any university town in the UK and you'll see how many people treat Chinese, Korean, Japanese, etc students like shit , but it's also true that Oriental people do believe what's said about them to be true, and idolize white Europeans, and European culture as a consequence.

R, your fucked up family does not represent me or Asian people in general, and coming an Asian lineage or even being Asian does not give you the conclusive authority to make blanket statements about Asians. Still, R, you only need to read the OP's words to realize that, at least up to some extent, I am telling the truth. Yes, because OP is obviously representative of all Asians as well. If what you're saying is only "true to some extent," then it is not the truth. It's funny that you're so quick to embrace statements made by someone that conforms to your stereotype like the OP while automatically rejecting any view that would challenge it.